Saturday, August 14, 2010

Brushing Destiny

She said things to me that I can't set down.  I keep carrying them around in my belly, they've not yet penetrated my thinking mind, only the part that can feel and cry out for more.  She said that my soul is 290 and 2900 years old and that there have been many female lifetimes between then and now.  Lifetimes of power and authority when women had no power and no authority, yet I managed to live with such.

But she found a girl hiding.  A shadow almost missed.  Covering her own beauty so as to give none of it away, offering platitudes to make me believe that safety is more important than the limitlessness of my being   She said I must go to her with the soul of my 2900 year old self.  And if she she rejects us, then we must go back and negotiate.  Using the wisdom of the crone to whisper words that have no sound, only meaning that echos to the very edge of where time began.  The spark that birthed us all and ignites us fearlessly to bring us to this place.  The girl must come out of hiding, she said, or it will all be for naught.

She said the project of my life was beauty.  The idea of it shattered and rebuilt me anew in an instant.  A beauty so rare that only the heart of a few are permitted a glimpse.  But I must first loose myself from this cell of pleasing...

She said you were a warrior that had laid down the sword and was now at peace in the world.  Well, mostly at peace.  And that the words you spoke were without deceit, the truth as you know in your heart the truth to be.  You're still trying to figure me out, she said... because I'm the cage rattler in you, when all the others have been in submission.  And the dance between us will forever be me moving and changing... you, adapting but keeping up.