Perseverance, she said, is not a quality of the faint of heart.

Reflection.

She said I was well past being a coward.  In fact, she emphatically told me to drop that kind of language completely.  Because I know how to be strong.  And I know how to move in the world, and take care of myself without sacrificing it all away.

So I took myself to the bathroom mirror, got up good and close and told myself that I was ready.  And it really felt like I was getting somewhere!

Recesses

She said that we could be many different things.  And we should.  Sometimes these things need to be experienced separately and at other times simultaneously.  Constantly expanding outward and strengthening inward.  But you must not limit yourself.  You must allow these things access to your soul with the same effortlessness as air rushes in your lungs and blood pumps through your heart.  Soon you will learn to not think so much about it all.  You'll just allow yourself to be and go with all that the soul is journeying through and toward.

She said there was still the faint aroma of fear, like a pheromone, but at least it was no longer stinking the place up or inviting the wrong kind of company in for an extended stay.  It was weakening rapidly, these things are born with a half life you know, so they diminish quickly but take a lifetime to erode in entirety.

Focus, she said on moving the joy of the adventure into the recesses of your mind, let it saturate all states of your consciousness.

I don't Know

I don't yet know how to go on.
I thought I did.
But I don't.

I don't know how to make a life.
Without you.
And I feel like I've been.
Cut in two pieces.

And those pieces are weeping.
And bleeding.
Yet are whole alone.

Disposable Income

She said that she'd found a little peace today.  As though it was the kind of thing that could be acquired in the personal care aisle of the grocery store.  Perhaps you should keep the receipt I told her... just in case tomorrow you need to return it for some milk and butter.